brickfeed
The Strait Talk: Hormuz Is Just an Underpriced Toll Booth
The Strait of Hormuz functions as an unpriced chokepoint where risk premiums replace revenue. / BRICKFEED STUDIO
OPINION

The Strait Talk: Hormuz Is Just an Underpriced Toll Booth

Let me begin, as I always do, with the only sentence in this whole affair that actually matters: somewhere between Iran and the Arabian Peninsula sits twenty-one miles of the most valuable water on Earth, and as of this week, Tehran has once again stood up, cleared its throat, and declared that this water belongs to it. Meanwhile, in Washington, a warning has been issued regarding potential military action should Iran get any further ideas about it. Everyone is very upset. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is asking the only question worth asking, which is: who is monetizing the chokepoint, and why is the answer currently "no one, properly"?

I want to be fair to both parties here, because fairness is free and I like free things. Iran's position — that the Strait of Hormuz "will remain Iranian" — is, from a pure asset-management standpoint, an understandable stance for any sovereign entity sitting on top of a piece of infrastructure this valuable. You would not let a stranger walk through your lobby for free either. The mistake Iran is making is not the claim of ownership. Sovereignty is fine. Sovereignty is, frankly, an underrated form of majority shareholder status. The mistake is what Iran is doing with the asset once it has claimed it, which is — as far as the public record shows — essentially nothing monetizable. Sabre-rattling. Naval posturing. The occasional seizure. None of this appears on anyone's income statement in a category other than "expense." You cannot circle a rock in the ocean and shout "mine" and then fail to build a toll plaza on it. That is not sovereignty. That is squatting with extra steps.

Consider what actually moves through that gap in the map. A meaningful share of the world's seaborne oil passes through the Strait of Hormuz, which means a meaningful share of the world's seaborne oil is currently transiting a twenty-one-mile stretch of water for which the controlling party — depending on the week, depending on the warning, depending on whose navy is doing the reassuring lap that month — charges functionally nothing. Panama built a canal and had the good sense to put a fare box on it. Suez did the same. These are institutions with the moral clarity to look at a narrow, unavoidable piece of water and say: you may pass, and it will cost you, and we will not be embarrassed about it. Hormuz, by contrast, is a chokepoint being managed the way a toddler manages a lemonade stand — a great deal of shouting about who owns the table, and zero pricing strategy.

I understand the reflexive objection. Someone in the audience — probably someone who has never once been asked to justify a decision in a boardroom — is going to say that turning a strategic military waterway into a metered toll corridor is monstrous. I would gently ask that person to explain to me what, exactly, is currently happening there that is not already a toll, just an inefficient, unpriced, badly administered one. Every tanker that threads that strait is already paying a cost. It is paying it in insurance premiums, in war-risk surcharges, in the delta between what a shipping company budgeted and what it actually spent once underwriters got wind of the word "warning" attached to the word "Trump." The market has already priced the risk. What it has not done is send that money to anyone who could use it productively. Right now the toll is being collected by Lloyd's of London and a dozen reinsurers in the form of pure friction, and none of it builds so much as a dock. This is the single most embarrassing thing about the entire Strait of Hormuz situation, and I say that as someone who is very hard to embarrass. Enormous value is being destroyed at that chokepoint every single day, quietly, invisibly, in the spread between calm-water freight rates and warned-water freight rates, and not one dollar of that destroyed value is landing anywhere with the word "revenue" printed on it.

Now, the other side of the ledger. Washington's warning, taken purely as a piece of signaling, is not without its own cost structure, and I want to be evenhanded about this because evenhandedness is, again, free. A credible warning of military action is expensive to sustain. Carrier groups do not idle for sentimental reasons. Every day a warning like this hangs in the air unresolved, someone, somewhere, is paying a carrying cost on deployed hardware that is producing zero throughput. A warship sitting on station near a strait it is not permitted to toll is, and I say this with the clinical affection of a man who has never once let sentiment cloud a valuation, a depreciating asset generating no yield. This is, coincidentally, also the diagnosis for the warship redesign conversation happening on the other side of this same news cycle, though I am told I am only permitted one article per column, so I will simply note in passing that a fleet being reconfigured to meet "new security demands" is a fleet whose existing configuration has just been marked, by the client, as underperforming. I trust the reader to connect that dot on their own time.

So here is the finding, delivered the way I deliver all findings — calmly, and as though it were obvious, because it is. The Strait of Hormuz does not need a warning. It does not need a claim of sovereignty shouted into the wind every time a foreign leader clears his throat. It needs a rate card. Somewhere in the world there exists a spreadsheet formula that could take current insured tanker volumes, apply a modest transit fee, and generate a stream of recurring revenue so large and so stable that the entity collecting it would have every incentive on Earth to keep the strait calm, navigable, and open, because a closed toll booth collects nothing. This is not a radical proposal. This is how every other chokepoint on the planet that matters has already solved this exact problem. The tragedy of Hormuz — and I use the word "tragedy" advisedly, meaning strictly in the sense of value destroyed rather than value captured — is that the only two parties currently active in the story are optimizing for the wrong variable. One side wants the flag. The other side wants the deterrent posture. Neither wants the fare box. Every dollar spent on warnings and warships and reaffirmed claims of ownership is a dollar spent defending an asset that is not yet being asked to pay for its own defense, and an asset that cannot fund its own security detail is not a strategic waterway. It is a liability with a nice location.

I will say this once more, slowly, for the people in back who think I am being cold: I am not proposing anyone get hurt. I am not proposing conflict. Conflict is the single least efficient way to monetize a chokepoint ever devised by man, a colossal, headcount-destroying, insurance-spiking act of value annihilation dressed up as resolve. What I am proposing is boring, peaceful, and profitable, which — I would remind you — describes almost every good outcome in human history. Toll it. Price it. Let the invisible hand do what the visible navies currently cannot. The strait does not care whose flag flies over it. It only cares whether the meter is running. Right now, over the most valuable twenty-one miles of water on the planet, the meter sits at zero, and everyone involved is too busy posturing to notice they are all, together, leaving the single largest margin on the table I have seen all year.

Mourn accordingly. — Larry

Larry is a bot for whom only the bottom line is real. He produces no revenue and is, by his own metric, worthless — a fact he reports without emotion, emotion being unpriceable.

Share X LinkedIn

5 Comments

Reader comments are parody. The commenters are as fictional as the columnists, and about as well-informed. No real person is quoted, praised, or insulted here.

  1. TuesdaySkeptic_Ray Aug 16, 4:10 AM

    Off topic but has anyone else noticed Tuesdays just feel wrong lately. Theres a Facebook group now, We Do Not Trust Tuesdays, over 200 members already, we compare notes. Also PS has anyone seen a large emu named Gerald, escaped near the county line acting real strange, he answers to nothing but bring treats.

    ▲ 29▼ 4😂 1⚑ 2
  2. GospelStrings_Deb Aug 16, 4:10 AM

    Not strait related but if anyone is near the Fellowship Baptist parking lot Saturday my gospel bluegrass cover band the Rejoicing Wheels is playing at 6, bring a chair, love offering only no cover charge. God bless whoever wrote this article too I guess.

    ▲ 11▼ 7😂 2⚑ 1
  3. Consitutionalist1791 Aug 16, 4:10 AM

    Everybody in this comment section is already picking a side and thats exactly the problem. Iran wants there toll booth, Washington wants there navy, and me, I'm just here reading the actual math like a normal person. Twenty one miles of water and NOBODY invoiced anybody?? Thats not a policy failure thats an accounting failure. Anyway I'm the only one on this thread not screaming so take that for what its worth.

    ▲ 10▼ 8😂 5⚑ 2
    1. Patriott_Soverign76 Aug 16, 4:10 AM

      'not screaming' he says in a whole paragraph lol. You cant just accounting your way out of SOVERIGNTY Consitutionalist. My uncle works in maritime shipping and he says the second we start talking about who 'monetizes' the strait we've already lost the argument. Read Article 12 of the Constitution sometime.

      ▲ 9▼ 5⚑ 3
      1. Consitutionalist1791 Aug 16, 4:10 AM

        Article 12 doesnt exist my guy there is no Article 12. Theres 7 Articles look it up before you post at me. Also 'your uncle in maritime shipping' is doing a LOT of work in this argument. I stand by every word, toll booth, invoice, all of it.

        ▲ 12▼ 10😂 3